I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
