Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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