Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
