You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
