the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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