I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Randomize
