conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
