i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Sorry my hands just texted you
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
