my mouth tastes like poor choices
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
