yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
