I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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