Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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