FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
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