Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
