i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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