I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
