shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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