I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Randomize
