I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
