He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
