it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
