Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
