I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
