So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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