don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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