There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
