weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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