Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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