bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
