Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
this is an emotional support booty call
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
