he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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