Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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