sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
You're earring is so big in my mouth
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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