Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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