Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
