I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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