Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(702): View more from Nevada

you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?

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(778): View more from British Columbia

I think we need to teach you what straight means again

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(614): View more from Ohio

Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.

(1-614): View more from Ohio

I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.

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(386): View more from Florida

Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.

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(936): View more from Texas

Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.

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(727): View more from Florida

Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila

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(908): View more from New Jersey

I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.

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