wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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