My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
