9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
