Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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