doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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