Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
ttyl tear gas
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
