just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
