am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
