I showed him my bush... on skype.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Randomize
