definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize
