i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
