this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
