your thong is hanging out like whoa
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
