Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
