So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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