youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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